Punni sat upstairs at Dinand Library, in a futile attempt to study for his finals, distracted by a mirage that had felt a little too realistic.
When Punni arrived at Holy Cross in the fall of 2022, it was not as a member of the football team. He’d abandoned the sport following high school, and instead set his sights on collegiate track and field, while also prioritizing a strong academic program. He landed at Holy Cross, where he saw immediate success as one of the team’s top sprinters as just a freshman — he was the Crusaders’ top finisher in the 200 meters at the Patriot League Indoor Championships that winter.
As the spring season continued, things began to feel off for Punni. He wasn’t hitting the times he wanted, and began to feel burnt out. As his freshman year reached its final weeks and outdoor championships came and went, he grew overwhelmed by the thought that, perhaps, the path he had chosen was the incorrect one.
And as he sat among the stacks in Dinand — his mind racing even more rapidly than his final kick along the straightaway — he decided enough was enough. He set aside his notes, and called his older sister, Klaleh, who was then a sophomore at Yale.
He confided in her: The night before, he’d had a dream. Not one of him standing atop a podium donning a gold medal. Instead, he was scrambling for yardage out on the gridiron — with the roar of thousands of cheering fans fueling him as he shed tackles and trudged ahead.
Realistically, Punni hadn’t strayed too far from football. Initially, Punni had hoped to walk on to the football team as a freshman and participate in both football and track, but it became clear early that that would not be a possibility. In an effort to remain close to the sport, he played in an intramural flag football league with his roommate. Football was in his head constantly, but that dream clarified what was in his heart.
As he paced back and forth, he told his sister:
“I think I want to play football.”
He talked the decision through with Klaleh, who reminded him of the advice their father had always given them: to follow your heart, and to chase after your passion.
“It's very bold to leave something that you're really good at,” Klaleh reflected, “just because you're more passionate about another thing, right?
“But I just pointed him back to his heart.”
Punni eventually talked through his decision with his track coaches, teammates, and friends back home, who offered their support as well. He was given the opportunity to walk onto the football team entering his sophomore year, and joined the team that July for workouts.
But within his first few days in the summer program, his initial excitement about returning to football quickly shifted to doubt. He had traded in the comfort of a sport he knew he could easily succeed in, and in return, he found himself with no discernible role in the lineup, feeling well behind his classmates, burdened by the pressure of not knowing what was going to happen next.
“I would just walk around campus during the summer,” Punni said, “just thinking and thinking:
Did I make the right decision? Am I doing the right thing?
Just praying a lot — just trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel.”