Lauren Manis: An Abrupt, Emotional Goodbye

Lauren Manis of the Holy Cross women's basketball team leaves The Hill as one of the most talented student-athletes ever to don a Crusader jersey. A four-time All-Patriot League selection, Manis tallied 2,020 points and 1,188 rebounds between 2016 and 2020 — breaking the school and league records for rebounds, and becoming the only player in Holy Cross history, men's or women's, to record 2,000 points and 1,000 rebounds. But like numerous other student-athletes across the nation, Manis' final season concluded prematurely on March 12, when the Patriot League and conferences across the nation shut down postseason tournaments due to the COVID-19 crisis.

In this inaugural edition of From the Hart — a first-person chronicle written by Holy Cross student-athletes — Manis details the moment she learned her collegiate career had come to an end, and reflects upon her historic, record-setting journey with the Crusaders. 

Silence consumed the hotel lobby in Pennsylvania as my entire team awaited the phone call that would determine the fate of our season.

COVID-19 was canceling tournaments across the nation, and as we returned to the hotel from shootaround early in the afternoon on March 12, we heard news that the Patriot League was meeting to determine if we would still play our semifinal game at Bucknell that night. Our athletics director, Marcus Blossom, was expected to call Coach Mac as soon as he heard. We all sat close together, praying that Marcus would call Coach with good news — that our game would still be played that night.

The few minutes we waited for the call felt like hours. When the phone finally rang, I was overcome with fear and nervousness, but remained hopeful. I was so confident that we were going to play the game that night and leave Sojka Pavilion with a win. I envisioned the celebration, and what it would feel like to finally take down Bucknell in their home gym. 

As Coach Mac walked toward us after hanging up the phone, the bad news she had just received was written all over her face. She didn’t have to tell us — we knew. We knew that the most exciting season we had ever been a part of had come to an abrupt and emotional end. 

“I am so sorry,” is all she said, and she nodded her head. Everyone began crying and embracing one another. I sat on the hotel lobby couch, numb and in disbelief. Memories from the last four years flooded my brain.

I thought back to freshman and sophomore year, which were two of the most difficult years of my life. We were a losing program, winning only 21 out of 61 games. Coming into my freshman year, I held such high expectations for my career, and those expectations seemed so far out of reach in those first two years. My time as a collegiate athlete was not going as planned, and I considered transferring. But in the end, I chose to stay for my teammates — my best friends. I started this journey with them, and wanted to finish it the same way.

Looking around the hotel lobby at that moment, I felt so sad knowing that journey wouldn't have the ending we had all hoped for, that I would never take the court with them in a Holy Cross uniform ever again.

Looking at them, I thought about how hard we all worked as a team and as individuals to come back last year, my junior year, and improve our record dramatically. With each win, I started to have more fun, and my love for the game grew and grew. We all enjoyed every minute of it.

It was a different feeling and we all had different mindsets. 
The mindsets of champions.

We wanted to win, and we were willing to do whatever that took. I thought about how some of the most exciting games of my career occurred in that season: Madalyn Smith’s infamous SportsCenter buzzer beater to beat Bucknell at home, the game-sealing basket by Jenay Faulkner at BU during our quarterfinal game. My junior season gave my teammates and me the confidence we needed and assured us that the next year would be ours.

My senior season, this season, was one of the most exciting times of my life. Entering the fall, I was so eager. I knew the basketball season was going to be one that I would remember for a lifetime. Personally, I wanted to do anything I possibly could to improve my game in hopes of helping lead my team to a Patriot League Championship.

I spent hours in the gym perfecting my craft.

I lived for individuals with coaches and my late Sunday night gym sessions, because I knew the work put in would be evident in my game. The preseason felt like the longest one yet, because I was anxiously and impatiently awaiting our first game at Illinois.

When the time finally came, we were all ready. We competed hard, and everyone gave 100 percent for 40-plus minutes. We gave a Big Ten team a run for its money, and we nearly won. That game in Champaign, Ill., proved to us that we could do great things in the Patriot League. 

After losing in overtime to Illinois, we came back to Worcester and beat Boston College, an impressive ACC team. We continued to prove to ourselves, and everyone watching, that we were something special. We had one of the greatest comebacks in Division I history, late game-winning shots and a chance to claim a spot in the Championship.

This year for me personally was filled with milestones that I wouldn’t want to achieve with any other team. Surpassing 2,000 points, and becoming the first player in Holy Cross history with 2,000 points and 1,000 rebounds was such a special moment for me. The way my teammates showed their support, pride and excitement meant the world to me. 

Going into the locker room after that game and being doused with their water bottles was a moment I will never forget.

Although that moment was such an exciting one, I was confident that another moment would completely overshadow it: winning the Championship.

We clinched a home quarterfinal game, which was extremely exciting for all of us. Hosting a quarterfinal game was huge. It meant we would have the home court advantage and a great crowd. For us seniors, it meant we were able to play on our home court one last time. 

After beating Lafayette to advance in the tournament, we were all confident that the next game was ours.

Sitting in that hotel lobby on the afternoon of March 12, my four years ran through my head,
and I was overcome with emotion.

It didn't feel real.

Quite frankly, it still doesn't.

I constantly feel like this is all a bad dream, and I so badly want to wake up. I realize that this is bigger than basketball, and the safety of my teammates and our community is most important. But I still wish I could go back to my favorite place and play the game I love with the people I love. Unfortunately, I can’t wake up. I can’t go back. I can, however, reflect on my four years and appreciate what I had. 

I am forever grateful for my four years at Holy Cross as a member of the women’s basketball program. My time on The Hill presented me with so many challenges, wonderful opportunities, vivid memories, and lifelong friends — and I wouldn’t trade all that for the world. While I am excited for what the future holds, I am sad to say goodbye.

I am so happy I spent my four years here, and I would do anything to go back, just for a few more minutes.

Photo Credits: Mark Seliger, Gil Talbot, Brian Foley, Mike Crowley, Darrell Hoemann